Oh yes, I am not yet sober… It’s exactly one week [as I am typing this] since I got off that Victory coach at the PNR Station in Baguio in a hurry and too excited to meet my friends at Don Henricos in Session Road… at exactly 7:35pm… I can still clearly remember… =) I ditched my work for a short trip to Baguio for my college alumni homecoming.
But now, I’m in my brother’s room, with the book ‘Eclipse’ sitting idly on my lap while I’m typing away in this rarely-visited-updated blog, trying to reminisce what happened in Baguio =)
I’ve written a considerably long two-part account here and here. Feel free to read (and comment if you want). You may also view some … I mean lots of photos here, here and here.
Kat A is right… we fell in-love with our school and Baguio all over again… *sigh*
When I get mad, I really get mad - crazy, I mean. I tend to forgo all kinds of reasonings and I become deaf and blind to all possible explanations. I also become mute - I don’t talk to anyone at all. Like an imbecile and an autistic person, I lock myself in my own world, repelling anyone or anything that would try to break down my doors. I get so caught up in my own thoughts, letting the ‘anger poison’ seep in deeper into my veins. And as if it is some kind of a potion that gives me strength and power, I feel so uninhibited and it makes me feel like I can say and do anything and just abash any poor fellow that would stand (clueless-ly) in my way.
Read more…
And I walked the talk.. literally… 
Along with more than 2,000 people, a small circle of celebrities and advocacy groups, me and my sister were at the Bonifacio High Street a little before 5am last Sunday (01 June) for ‘Walk the World’ - a campaign led by the World Food Programme to fight child hunger by raising awareness and funds for nearly 60 million children throughout the world that are suffering from hunger.
The event was organized by TNT Express Philippines together with a lot
of other companies who donated funds and people (?) for the walk.
Read more here.
Got this from a friend’s multiply site. Hmmm… how very true…
THERE’S A FINE FINE LINE
There’s a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There’s a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you’d never know ’til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.
There’s a fine, fine line between love
and a waste of time.
There’s a fine, fine line between a fairytale and a lie;
And there’s a fine, fine line between "you’re wonderful" and "goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn’t love you back it isn’t such a crime,
but there’s a fine, fine line between love
and a waste of time
And i don’t have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don’t think that you even know what you’re looking for
For my own sanity, i’ve got to close the door
and walk away
There’s a fine, fine line between together and not
And there’s a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while youo’re still in your prime…
There’s a fine, fine line between love
and a waste of time.
As I was almost immobile and in pain the entire day that I was home [because of migraine], I found myself bored and typing away in my pc and downloading mp3s from Limewire. I came across this song by Dashboard Confessional. Wow… feels… err… sounds familiar. For you, dork. Enjoy. =P
FOR YOU TO NOTICE
I’m starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful, or brave, or smooth, or charming
and you’d want to call me..
And I would be there every time
you’d need me
I’d be there every time…
But for now I’ll look so longingly
waiting…
For you to want me, for you TO need me, for you to notice me
Watch video here.
Ahahaha… I think I’m going crazy…
I’ve been trying my very best to update all my seven blogs but I think I’m a big failure. Time is my biggest enemy. But still, it amazes me how I (still) can take a peek (of about three seconds) at my friendster, myspace, multiply, blogger, yahoo mail, gmail and Jah knows what else amid my very busy schedule *wink wink* These, on top of reading news updates on CNN, MSNBC, inq7.net, reading Mr. De Quiros’ blog… blah… blah… blah.
Geez, I’m an internet freak. Well, I think it helps transform my world into a realm that only I could comprehend; somewhere where I get to be a fictional character. I become what I want to be — an antagonist, a protagonist or just a mere spectator.
My point?
I don’t know. I think I am going crazy…
Writing really is something. But an empty mind is as good as an empty piece of paper; it is worthless until a speck comes out of it.
It never fails to amuse me that I write for a living; that the soft [sometimes firm] melodic sound of my fingers tapping against my keyboard and my eyes, sore most of the time from having been glued to the monitor the whole time every single day, and my mind, bloated with learning de rigueur — are my capitals to thrive in this business. I have no qualms about this; I love it actually. But there are times that I don’t hear the melodic typing sounds; sometimes, they sound more like apocalyptic drumbeats — power by raged and rebellion.
I don’t rebel against my fate as a word-stringer. It’s just that sometimes, my fingers ache, my eyes droop and my mind is as blank as hell. Writers’ block, they say. But I prefer not to believe it. It is a peril to my work.
And guess what… I just had it now.
I like to cry like Brendan Fraser in ‘Bedazzled’ whenever I see the sunset. It is just so… mesmerizing.
And now you’re saying goodbye; your thunderous light that feed the earth slowly sinking in the steep horizon. The cooling hour has arrived. All the birds of the prey would be up and about while the rest of the leaving creatures wallow in this solitude. My time, sweet night, has come.
-Thet, while lazily finishing an article for AQ
Sunday afternoon at home. I am stuck in my room, in front of my computer (haven’t really exposed myself enough to radiation from my office computer to mutilate my braincells) trying so hard to transcribe one of my interviews for the magazine I’m working on while (obviously) updating few of my many blog and networking (is that what we call it?) sites and yup, checking my emails. But my mind’s actually flying off somewhere, dramatically listening and mesmerized by Jim Chappell’s pieces (Mockingbird Days is playing on the background).
Oh, wait…. yaikkssss… may flying ipis… ewwww….. (Thet scrambles to snatch her slipper and smack the "strong pillar" off the wall!) Hehe… commercial… Why strong pillar? Mahabang istorya…
Going back. I did my laundry this morning so I’m still tired and I want to hit the sack. But I CAN’T. First, half my bed is strewn with my clothes and bedsheets which I’m suppose to stock pile in my ‘closet’. Sheez, I wonder why they can’t fit in there anymore when every morning of everyday, I usually find myself complaining that I don’t have anything to wear. Yep, I’m a Girl. Second, I am waiting for an important call. Nope, not lovelife-related but work-related. Not ECCI stuff though. I recently applied as a freelance editor for SPi Technologies. They made me edit a few manuscripts for my exam. By ‘few’ I mean 20+ pages of very technical materials which I can’t really understand; I had to do some research while editing it so, there I go. I had passed both exams and now, I am scheduled for a final phone interview (between 2pm and 5pm) so I have to wait. It’s almost four and my mobile phone is still as silent as a graveyard. Nobody’s sending SMS either except the ever-reliable 2977 from Globe. Tsk… can’t I be more pathetic?
Anyway, while here in the net, I’m also chatting with my friend Belle and I just learned that Mark (our best guy friend and her boyfriend) had already proposed to her! Sweet! That is so beautiful. I wish I could hug both of them. She said the wedding is not until November next year so I guess that leaves me a whole year to save for my Cali trip. Hmmm… wonder if I could really work on my budget. Reminds me of the very sh*tty financial woe I have right now. Thus, the need for a part time / freelance job.
The Harry Potter Order of the Phoenix book is lying opened on my bed. I’ve read it already but I’m re-reading it again to freshen my memory because the movie version is soon to be released. And I am so darn excited. I haven’t seen the preview but I heard it’s good. Sh*t. Harry kisses the Chochang girl in this episode and I hate it. Haha! I am also reading another Mary Higgins-Clark novel but I haven’t touched it since last Thursday. One of my bad habits — reading two or three books at once that sometimes, I muddle the stories.
It’s past 4pm and no calls yet! I want to sleep…
I can’t find my place, even my phase. I am standing over a cliff and looking down, I can’t recognize a thing — just tiny meaningless distant specs. I tried looking for any familiar sign but I cried with defeat. I can hope all I want but maybe that would be just about it — my heart dies. I am going into an empty space. I am awake but I fell into a deep slumber. Don’t know how to regain consciousness; I am just too weak.
My heart is broken — sliced into pieces; not by romance, not by love but by disappointment. The cruel gets the kind; the kind turns suicidal. Then tomorrow will never be there. Like a withered tree I die with sunlight but I long for the rain, a storm that would wash away my disdain — for the truth, for the real, for my life.
I’m crying blood already but probably it was just inside me. For my tears are invisible to the naked eye but a torrential rain drumming this delicate heart. I am bruised all over and I am crying in pain. But you turn me mute — your anger haunted me and I never spoke again.
Hushed.
- Isinulat isang tanghaling halos yumuyupyop na ang talukap ng aking mga mata sa sobrang antok. ^_^
